Y’all… I cannot with this show. I just… can’t. And I mean that in the absolute best way. Shit’s gotten so real. My head is still spinning.
Let’s get into some of my initial reactions from House of the Dragon’s fifth episode (as of typing this post the episode’s title hasn’t been released. I might come back and update this post once it is… but I likely won’t, let’s be real):
- Poor Laenor: Does the LGBTQ community get any peace in the Game of Thrones universe? Of course not, no one knows peace in Westeros. But not only can Laenor Velaryon not be openly gay, not only is he forced to marry his cousin, but Jeeeeeesus my heart goes out to the poor guy for having to witness his lover in that state… And then getting married in a Targaryen shotgun wedding, again to his cousin, like ten minutes after?? Poor thing. I’d donate a gold dragon to his therapy GoFundMe.
- Poor Criston: Rhaenyra is (was?) my girl, and I was rooting for her even after her shenanigans with her uncle Daemon from last week… But seeing her be so selfish about Criston was hard. The man is in love with you, girlie, he does not want to be reduced to a sneaky link because you want to sit in a big ugly chair one day. Rhaenyra isn’t wrong that she’s got duties to fulfill as a royal heir, but keeping Criston around to be a plaything when he’s developed serious feelings for her is messed up. Leave the man alone. Don’t string him along. She’s already marked him for death if the wrong person found out about their relationship, the least she could do is not take things even further.
- Daemon Targaryen is one BAMF: He’s such a piece of shit, I love him so much.
- Laena Velaryon: How much time has passed since we last saw her? She’s supposed to be, what, 15 now? She looks older than Rhaenyra. The actress they got to play her is gorg, though, so not really complaining, but it definitely threw me for a bit initially.
- Mr. Clubfoot: I can’t remember his name and I’m too lazy to look it up, but I think his name is Strong? Larys Strong? And, if that’s right, how funny that his name rhymes with Varys, our gossiping icon from Thrones. But THIS is what I’ve been waiting on from House of the Dragon, this specific scene – messy bitches who live for drama. I honestly can’t remember being so gobsmacked by a scene in GoT as I was watching Mr. Clubfoot spill the figurative tea about the literal tea given to Rhaenyra last week. I could not have asked for a better, messier few lines of dialogue than that. My jaw is still on the floor.
- Viserys: He simply will not die. Not that I want him to, I just feel like a rotten appendage should’ve taken him out by now.
- Poor Criston (…Again): Uh… yeah. Love makes you do crazy things. Can’t say I’ve ever been so in love that I’d bash someone’s head in, but clearly Criston feels differently. Honestly, Joffrey deserved it. You won’t find any tears for him from me. And how lovely is it that he shared a name with the iconic Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones and they both earned gruesome deaths? Sure, Ser Joffrey Lonmouth’s death came much, much faster than our dearly departed King’s, but while his time on the screen was brief, I am very happy to not have to see him ever again. Thanks, Criston. ❤ I absolutely still feel bad for Laenor, but Joffrey… he had to go. I will not miss him.
- ALICENT F*CKING HIGHTOWER: My girl is ready to play the GAME. She knows Rhaenyra is a trifling liar, she’s standing firmly on her father’s side, she’s about to come fuck some shit up and I absolutely cannot wait to see what she’s got in store. When she came out in that green dress, looking Queenly as ever, you just KNEW she wasn’t here for the bullshit. And then she hit Rhaenyra with “stepdaughter”?! I could’ve fallen out watching that scene. I didn’t know the significance of the color green until Mr. Clubfoot made his comment about House Hightower using green light to call its banner men to war, but even before that line of dialogue there’s something about Alicent commanding the attention of the room like that that just lets you know she means business, and I’m here for all of it. My girl is ready to go to WAR!
That’s it for now, y’all! As you can tell, I’m still super hyped for this show. My Sunday nights have meaning again!! I’ve got lots more thoughts on this episode but it’s almost midnight and I, most regrettably, have a job to wake up for tomorrow morning so we’ll leave this post here.
If you’ve got thoughts I didn’t touch on that you want to share I would looooove to hear them! Leave a comment, message me, send a carrier pigeon, I don’t care.
Until next time!✌🏽